"Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable." [Plato]

How disheartening!

I read this excerpt in the first chapter of my September book, "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson. I must say, I was quite blindsided by this first chapter. It presents boys as wreckless and mischievous little buggers getting into trouble whenever possible. Maybe the following quote was in popular culture a little before I would have heard it, but why didn't anyone tell me that

"Girls are made out of sugar and spice and everything nice,

but boys are made of snakes and snails and puppy dog tails"?

Snakes? Snails?! Puppy dog tails?!?

Though I like to think I'm a brave guy (having just touched a snake myself while biking recently in Stony Swamp, and touching a mammoth one while in Costa Rica last year), I certainly hope that my child isn't made of them!

Snails? Any memory I have of snails bring me back to when I lived in Nicaragua. A relative of the snail, the slug, had made its way into our home. We showered it in salt, which he didn't seem to like much. He died.

I don't have much of a comment regarding puppy dog tails.

Nevertheless, the way I saw raising kids, 18 years with a boy wouldn't be as challenging as with a girl:

• Early boy stage (≤ 10 years old) = destructive and untameable, like a hurricane;

• Late boy stage (>10 years old) = confident, more than able to bus around town late at night or do stupid things to get a chuckle from those around him;

• Early girl stage = angelic, always eager to help, can get whatever she wants with a puppy dog face; and finally

• Late girl stage = hormonal, showered with stereotypes of culture leaving her uncertain about herself and with mediocre confidence (though she could still get whatever she wants with a puppy dog face!).

But this book has left me thinking that boys may not be easier to raise. Note another excerpt:

...one of the scariest aspects of raising boys is their tendency

to risk life and limb for no good reason...If a toddler can climb

on it, he will jump off it...He will eat anything but food and

loves to play in the toilet. He makes "guns" out of cucumbers

or toothbrushes...He loves to throw rocks, play with fire, and

shatter glass.

One way to put this to rest is to look what and who I know myself. What do I know as truth, from my own experiences?

From both memory and stories that come about at family dinners, my brother and I (separated by 19 months) got into as much trouble as possible:

• I once pretended to not breathe, hoping my mom would think it was funny!

• We once got a stray bull so mad (yes, they have those in Nicaragua - they're like stray dogs, except cows) by throwing rocks at it, that it chased us around the block!

• Biking in thunderstorms was awesome, helmets were optional, lightning made it extra cool!

• I, not so much my brother, got into the party scene at school, often leaving my parents with less than restful nights!

Now, what about my wife, and her two sisters:

• They once wore clothes that didn't match;

• They once saw a mouse in their house, but quickly ran away; and worst of all

• They once pretended to shoot an animal with a gun made from their index finger and thumb (this after learning about shooting guns from their male cousins)!

NOTE that this list omits certain mischievous acts done by the girls, in order to better prove a point (like climbing up a synthetic freestyle aerial ski jump during the summer and jumping into the pool below).

Putting both in the balance, I'd say that my brother and I were a little more mischievous. Even once older, internal emotional issues (along with continuing to laugh in the face of danger) didn't make it any easier for the parents of two boys than for those of three girls.

Now, I must step back and say that this small sample size leads to huge generalizations. Moreover, external influences on my family vs. my wife's family are countless: country of habitation, city vs. country living, parenting styles, dynamics with extended family, financial situation, number of siblings. There are so many factors to consider which influence how a child is raised and what demeanour they present that I can't possibly make a conclusion on which is easier, or creidbly compare one family to another.

All I can say is that God gave us a son, and I pray that God gives us the strength, wisdom, and patience to raise him well. I hope to glean some of this wisdom from the examples of both my parents, and those of my wife. I also hope for Dr. Dobson's book to offer some solutions in the next 16 chapters, now that he's shaken my foundation!

What about you? Do you think boys are better than girls? Which gender is easier to raise?